For a young male in his early twenties, the appeal of an older woman is anything but ordinary. Chances are he has heard the erogenous locker room stories of just how sexually delicious a woman is when she hits her coveted 30’s. Rumor, or possibly fable -has it that a woman hits her sexual prime in her 30’s, and turns into a gushing, multiple orgasmic sexual goddess, confident in her body and finally able (and unashamed) to use it in the way nature intended. And there you have the basis for the hundreds of May-December movies, like Breakfast at Tiffany’s that seem to romanticize the idea that a woman in her 30’s, is one of the most sexual creatures on Earth.
But is it true? Do women really hit their sexual prime in their 30’s? Or is this simply a man cave created fantasy that has no basis in human sexuality and fact?
According to a professional sociological study conducted by the University of Chicago, entitled, The Social Organization of Sexuality, the female libido is contingent upon many things. For females, sexual intimacy and sexual intercourse are overlapped with feelings of emotional security and are extremely subjective to cultural norms and perceptions. This can indicate that sexual desire is easily curbed by upbringing, values, and personal experiences with the opposite sex. One of the biggest libido busters for women of all ages, was stress. And while men can become easily aroused, science has yet to figure out in particular what sparks arousal in women. Many sociological studies have come to terms with the theory that for a female, sex drive is often determined by “what occurs between the ears, rather than between the legs!”
There are also in fact, stages to a woman’s sexuality, which have been proven to be less straightforward than the simple male form of the ‘arousal erection.’ (Which in truth can occur without any form of sexual arousal). During a woman’s lifetime, she transitions through many phases of sexuality that is often orchestrated by rising and falling hormonal levels, as well as emotional and psychological feelings of satisfaction and confidence. In a woman’s 20’s hormone levels during ovulation which peak sexual arousal are contingent upon menstrual cycles and around 85% of the unmarried female population worries about unplanned pregnancies, STD’s as well as being subjected to social rejection for promiscuous behavior. Combine that with popular body image problems and instability in every day life – and women in their 20’s are considered ‘experimental’ rather than experienced lovers.
As a woman approaches her 30’s and ages into her 30’s, hormone levels are at all time high levels, which does in fact play a major part in her sexual inclination. Additionally, most women find themselves in stable relationships, are often married, and are in the throws of what is considered the childbearing years. Many women also described an increased sense of self and established confidence in the bedroom during their late 20’s and early 30’s, which can lead to a more assertive and enjoyable sexual relationship.
Does this equate to a woman reaching her sexual prime in her 30’s? And if that’s the truth then why do studies indicate that so many men from ages 29-43 are dissatisfied with the sexual aspect of their life.
According to a Durex Global Sex survey, only 46% of the population considers their sex life to be fulfilling. Another survey conducted by revealed that 56% of married men in their 30’s are dissatisfied with their sex lives. Additionally, according to the same survey Americans only spend about an hour per week having sex, and average one of the lowest amounts of sexual encounters, globally, in a single year.
Divorce rates are at all time highs, and are higher for people in their 30’s than they are for any other age demographic. Top that off with the fact that according to a Maxim Magazine survey, most men that resort to infidelity (which is reaching curiously alarming numbers), do so because they are unhappy with the sexual performance – or lack thereof, in their own home. And when married for 6+ years, around 58% of men report grave dissatisfaction in the bedroom. Considering that most of these unhappy men, are married to women in their 30’s – the theory of women reaching their sexual prime in their 30’s, seems to be nothing but a hoax. But a hoax for what?
Obviously, there is something going wrong in the bedrooms of people in their 30’s. In one report among married people in the 30 – 44 age group, it was reported that women only orgasm around 26% of the time. And, going back to the sociological study which investigates what makes a woman tick in the bedroom, it seems to make sense. The truth is that many women in their 30’s, in stable relationships are also in the midst of their child bearing years. During ovulation, which occurs once a month – hormone levels surge, which increase desire. However, after ovulation is over – many women do not have enough hormonal pulses to drum up the urge for sex. Additionally, when women become mothers, and are in the midst of parenting one or even multiple children, sexual desire can be altogether stymied due to stress and the added responsibility of motherhood. For a woman, stress is the number one killer of sex drive.
In other words, the adage that women in their 30’s are the epitome of Aphrodite, may be true for professional, single, successful and unmarried women. Yet not so much for those that are involved in the upheaval of being married with children, juggling careers, and enjoying an orgasm a measly 26% of the time when they do engage in sex.
Sorry fellas, but somebody in that locker room has been telling you a lie!
By: Stef Daniel