For a young male in his early twenties, the appeal of an older woman is anything but ordinary. Chances are he has heard the erogenous locker room stories of just how sexually delicious a woman is when she hits her coveted 30’s. Rumor, or possibly fable -has it that a woman hits her sexual prime in her 30’s, and turns into a gushing, multiple orgasmic sexual goddess, confident in her body and finally able (and unashamed) to use it in the way nature intended. And there you have the basis for the hundreds of May-December movies, like Breakfast at Tiffany’s that seem to romanticize the idea that a woman in her 30’s, is one of the most sexual creatures on Earth.

But is it true? Do women really hit their sexual prime in their 30’s? Or is this simply a man cave created fantasy that has no basis in human sexuality and fact?

According to a professional sociological study conducted by the University of Chicago, entitled, The Social Organization of Sexuality, the female libido is contingent upon many things. For females, sexual intimacy and sexual intercourse are overlapped with feelings of emotional security and are extremely subjective to cultural norms and perceptions. This can indicate that sexual desire is easily curbed by upbringing, values, and personal experiences with the opposite sex. One of the biggest libido busters for women of all ages, was stress. And while men can become easily aroused, science has yet to figure out in particular what sparks arousal in women. Many sociological studies have come to terms with the theory that for a female, sex drive is often determined by “what occurs between the ears, rather than between the legs!”

There are also in fact, stages to a woman’s sexuality, which have been proven to be less straightforward than the simple male form of the ‘arousal erection.’ (Which in truth can occur without any form of sexual arousal). During a woman’s lifetime, she transitions through many phases of sexuality that is often orchestrated by rising and falling hormonal levels, as well as emotional and psychological feelings of satisfaction and confidence. In a woman’s 20’s hormone levels during ovulation which peak sexual arousal are contingent upon menstrual cycles and around 85% of the unmarried female population worries about unplanned pregnancies, STD’s as well as being subjected to social rejection for promiscuous behavior. Combine that with popular body image problems and instability in every day life – and women in their 20’s are considered ‘experimental’ rather than experienced lovers.

As a woman approaches her 30’s and ages into her 30’s, hormone levels are at all time high levels, which does in fact play a major part in her sexual inclination. Additionally, most women find themselves in stable relationships, are often married, and are in the throws of what is considered the childbearing years. Many women also described an increased sense of self and established confidence in the bedroom during their late 20’s and early 30’s, which can lead to a more assertive and enjoyable sexual relationship.

Does this equate to a woman reaching her sexual prime in her 30’s? And if that’s the truth then why do studies indicate that so many men from ages 29-43 are dissatisfied with the sexual aspect of their life. According to a Durex Global Sex survey, only 46% of the population considers their sex life to be fulfilling. Another survey conducted by revealed that 56% of married men in their 30’s are dissatisfied with their sex lives. Additionally, according to the same survey Americans only spend about an hour per week having sex, and average one of the lowest amounts of sexual encounters, globally, in a single year.

Divorce rates are at all time highs, and are higher for people in their 30’s than they are for any other age demographic. Top that off with the fact that according to a Maxim Magazine survey, most men that resort to infidelity (which is reaching curiously alarming numbers), do so because they are unhappy with the sexual performance – or lack thereof, in their own home. And when married for 6+ years, around 58% of men report grave dissatisfaction in the bedroom. Considering that most of these unhappy men, are married to women in their 30’s – the theory of women reaching their sexual prime in their 30’s, seems to be nothing but a hoax. But a hoax for what?

Obviously, there is something going wrong in the bedrooms of people in their 30’s. In one report among married people in the 30 – 44 age group, it was reported that women only orgasm around 26% of the time. And, going back to the sociological study which investigates what makes a woman tick in the bedroom, it seems to make sense. The truth is that many women in their 30’s, in stable relationships are also in the midst of their child bearing years. During ovulation, which occurs once a month – hormone levels surge, which increase desire. However, after ovulation is over – many women do not have enough hormonal pulses to drum up the urge for sex. Additionally, when women become mothers, and are in the midst of parenting one or even multiple children, sexual desire can be altogether stymied due to stress and the added responsibility of motherhood. For a woman, stress is the number one killer of sex drive.

In other words, the adage that women in their 30’s are the epitome of Aphrodite, may be true for professional, single, successful and unmarried women. Yet not so much for those that are involved in the upheaval of being married with children, juggling careers, and enjoying an orgasm a measly 26% of the time when they do engage in sex.

Sorry fellas, but somebody in that locker room has been telling you a lie!

39 COMMENTS

  1. […] any case, there’s a plethora of articles online attempting to debunk the notion of a sexual peak. This one discusses the complexity of a woman’s libido. According to this one, people tend to say that the […]

  2. I was definitely in my sexual peak in my thirties. I had increased desire and was able to reach orgasm easier, as a mom. Sometimes a mans inexperience andisunderstanding of women’s needs can stifle desire.

  3. It is true for me, but i am single; although a single mom as well with plenty of stress. I feel the stress just makes it where not only do i want sex but need it.

  4. I’m in my thirties now. And I’ve never felt so sexual and comfortable in my own skin as now. My fiancé and I have a great sex life , and my daughter is 14. My only child. So some stress is off from that. We both work. But there’s not a day goes by that things do not get steamy. I was no where near this sexual in my twenties.

  5. I started having major extended orgasms starting early thirties…now I’m in my late thirties, and my orgasms are HUGE! They can last 20 or more minutes and are highly addictive. I believe hormones play a major role here. I went from standard orgasm to multiples and extended orgasms. It was a shock to my system! I prayed to have some relief because it’s impossible not to get highly addicted to extended orgasms…it’s similar to heroin they say. I am always in a state of heightened arousal and many different things can trigger a spontaneous orgasm. Music, certain foods, hot baths, massages, ….shit! Just about anything can trigger an orgasm. I can never get enough….it sucks!

    • I am a 29 year old single mother of a three year old never been married. I have been celibate since february of this year. I wanted to know can a woman lose her libido since she is not engaging in sexual activity

  6. – I’m in my thirties and I’m definitely in my sexual prime. I can have 6 -9 orgasms during sex. I’m very confident and extremely comfortable with my sexuality.

  7. I am 60 …its always been terrific for me ,from my teens till now .I really don’t think that will change .Its my sexual experience…so I own it.

  8. You ladies are amazing. I would have to imagine your abilities to be open and honest with your SO have helped tremendously? Disheartening, egotistical, evasive lovers create the scenario for articles like this. Male 31 and ruined 2 great relationships, so that intensity for passion has tremendously faded. Once had the passion and desire of 2 men. I lacked the ability of properly expressing myself. Now it seems selfish although I’ve never had a problem being the pleaser.

    Rambling guy……

  9. I’m 29 Il be 30 in a few months,and my sex drive is increasing tremendously, my orgasms are intensifying best feeling in the world.i be wanting sex all the time.i didnt have a high sex drive like this in my early 20s.lol.can’t wait til I get in my 30’s. .my boyfiend of two years has a high sex drive also, about 4-5 months ago and before that, my sex drive was at its lowest peak. I ADMIT.the older I’m getting, the more sexual my body’s feeling.

  10. I’ve been married almost 4 years. I’m 29 years old with 10 children, yes 10. We are a blended family an I have never lived sex more or enjoyed sex as much as I do now. In fact I want sex more often than my husband. I never liked sex much when I was younger but in the last 5 years it’s slowly became my favorite pass time. If you’re married or dating an not having sex at least 2 a week something is wrong with that.

  11. I’m 41 and my boyfriend of 4 years is 35. He tells me I don’t have to have sex everytime we stay the night together. I say…yes we do. I was once married with kids and I can tell you I was to tired for sex. In my 20’s I didn’t love my body or even really know myself. My exhusband was very Judgemental of people and wasn’t much in bed. So I never felt comfortable enough with my body or being open with him. But now at 41 I feel great. I love my body and I love telling my boyfriend just what I want him to do and have no problem just taking over. I think it’s a combination of the partner you are with and your own comfort level with yourself. And fyi….sex in my 30’s was great! Sex in my 40’s….even better. 😉

  12. Yes in my early thirties I had a big sex drive. But now that I turn 40 I still have a big sex drive. I have a boyfriend of 10 years within those years he also had a big sex drive but now he is 42 years old and does not want to have sex anymore it’s very frustrating and don’t know what to do I am not a cheater. He knew when he met me that I have always had a big appetite for sex.. in the beginning he was very satisfying but now I don’t know what happened. Do men lose their sex drive?

    • I have always heard men hit their prime before they are men…im 52 now and I feel the same as when i was 16…this is such a crazy topic with so many variables…attraction…performance…and im beginning to think more and more psychological then anything…the longer you are with your partner the easier it is to lose the mood over stupid things..maybe he feels he cant satisfy you anymore…have you tried things to spice it up..sexy panties ..teasing him…role playing can be kinda fun …I dont want to throw out hurtful things so i will stop here and wish you luck…

  13. i am right in the middle when i’m in the mood i am really really in the mood but when i’m not i am really not the problem i think is biology when i am ovulating and when i am not. I don’t want any more children and I don’t want to be on birth control I should just let my husband get a visectomy but i’m afraid of that lowering my libido towards him.

  14. Ladies get greedy! Why not, most men are (there are a few that are not) when comes to sex & having an orgasm. I have always been a very sexual girl & I almost wonder if God accidentally gave me a mans brain. My whole sex life has been one hell of a journey! I am 35 years old now & I do think I am at my highest insanely enjoyable sexual peak! When I was in my late 20’s I began to have more intense mind blowing sex & intense orgasms! And it was with the same man I was having sex with since I 1st turned 21 & the same man that blows my mind at 35 years old. Ladies I will tell you that if you stop psyching yourself out with the worries of the world or worry only about pleasing your man & if you are doing it right. Like I said get greedy & focus on you & how its making you feel. Zone in on every little feeling & if your toes isnt curling, tell him. Tell him what you want girl. And that ladies is sexy to most men I know, when I woman is getting in the pleasure zone making their ugly sex face & getting in to it. He knows he is doing tha dang thing & it excites him. Explore anything & everything! Dont knock til you try it, because you never know what amazing adventures your missing out on til you try it. Also my last grand advice from this greedy girl…. Watch porn ladies! Why? Because you can learn a whole lot of fun freaky adventures from porn. I say do it like a porn star. This is a big benefit in my marriage. Your man will watch porn regardless & he will fantasize about what if he was getting it like that. So my answer is give it to him like that, its fun trying everything!

  15. I turned 50 this year and am hornier then I’ve ever been. I have multiple, very strong orgasms and think about sex a lot more then I used to. I think I’m at my peak right now.

  16. I am 26 but have been sexual lyrics active for 12 years now with my husband. We have 3 boys and I have to say the last 10 days I have been on higher sex drive than ever. I don’t know what it is. I am horney all the time. After reading so many post though I see it is so common.

  17. I am 37 and have multiple sclerosis. I don’t fully orgasm but I do sometimes cum. It’s hard to explain. I’ve been with my husband for 17 years. I am a mother to a 16 year old boy. I work. I stress. But I have never been hornier. I want sex all the time. My husband works all the time and when he is home he rarely wants to have sex. I’m not a cheater and I love him so much I don’t want to leave him.. Idk what to do. Help!!!

  18. This is something my mother used to always tell me, once I was an adult, and man was she right. I am 33 and am turned on almost always. In my 20’s, 2-3 times a week was plenty and I had to be “in the mood”. Now, twice a day, everyday, or as much as I can get, really. I have been with the same person for 15 years. We don’t have children, but he works insanely long days (12-20 hours), and I have been under enormous amounts of stress, but once we get together, I cannot keep my hands off of him and it is better than ever!

  19. As a mother of 5,and a wife of 13 years… I have dealt with plenty of stress and so many moments when my husband thought something was wrong with him because I just didn’t want to have sex at all I was overwhelmed and underwhelmed by life in general and being a mom and yes the stress was a total mood killer. I will be 31 years old in a few months and I have been noticing major changes! All good of course. Thank you ladies for sharing all of your experiences because I can relate to them, all of them, each experience, it’s like I’ve been in everyones situation before. I am now finally getting to the point in my life where I can climax and I can orgasm and I can play with myself and I can fantasize about my husband and I desire him and I want him and just thinking about him I can completely soak my panties…. 🙂 I mean I’ve been sitting here for the last 6 months going wow why could this not have happened to me 10 years ago? I’m not complaining it’s just fascinating!!!!
    And yes, I am more comfortable, I am more confident. I have been more accepting of everything in my life at age 30 than I ever was before, that is with the good and the bad and I think it all plays a part in how you feel in the bedroom.
    Especially when it comes to stress at age 30 I am more receptive to how things affect me emotionally, physically, psychologically, and being more self-aware of these things give you the upper hand, with the more knowledge you have of yourself in dealing with those issues….so everything on this forum is all valid it’s all wonderful information and I’m glad everyone can get on here and speak openly that’s what it’s all about so much of this world is suppressed.

  20. Hi! I have been married for 15 years, 4 kids, age 35. I have to say I want sex every night! My husband age 38 doesn’t want it as much as me. I conclude from work stress and he’s approching 40 so he doesn’t desire it as much as he did in his 20s. Our sex life is amazing!

  21. The article refers to vague studies it doesn’t bother to directly cite and then uses married people as the guage for “truth”.
    A couple of things – just because a married woman doesn’t desire her husband doesn’t mean she doesn’t have much sex drive. Maybe he is bad in bad. Maybe there is an emotional disconnect due to other relationship problems. But that doesnt mean her actual libido is low.
    The women reaching their peak are usually unmarried, childfree women. Married women and mothers have the stress of their marriage and children. Single women are FREE. With people marrying and having kids later, there are a lot more women in that category.

  22. 36 and I hope this is my full peek because it gradually built up to this age and oh… my… god…. I probably don’t need to provide how I feel all the time. I’m sure you ladies know! My boyfriend is nowhere near where I’m at, but when I get him going we have fun.

  23. 30’s my foot! I am 42, separated for almost 2 years and seeing a younger man… I CRAVE sex!!! I am a nurse so I have a very i stress career and work long hours, but that doesn’t seem to disrupt my drive. In the past I always had a very difficult time climaxing, however, now I experience multiple every time I have sex. I cannot get enough! I love my body and have learned exactly how to use it and what I like and need;it helps to have a partner whom knows what to do and is capable of rounds 2, 3, 4, even 5 at times! Seriously ladies, every woman is different. I do not believe everyone reaches their peak at a certain age. For me, 42 is mind blowing!!!

  24. Oh yeah, I love reading these comments from my peers 🙂 let’s get it on, ladies! Confidence has been a huge factor in my increased inhibitions. Ive always been sexually inclined but now, in my mid30’s, Im a goddamn lion, and I love it 🙂 I make no apologies for my desires, Im not afraid to ask for what I want, and my partners adore me (most of them are guys in their mid20s)…it’s a perfect combination for bliss 🙂 And I feel like Im only getting more confident, more beautiful, more comfortable with me…I love getting older for these reasons (:

  25. I’m in my early 30’s, married to my high school sweetheart with 2 children. I can’t remember enjoying sex as much as I do at this age. Multiple orgasms and not to mention the confidence I feel. To be honest I feel like if I am stressed this is the only thing to help me get rid of it.

  26. I’ve been the same since I started having sex, so does my husband. 10 years marriage, we enjoy our sexual life. Sometimes, it goes almost a month without it then we would have a binge sex in our undisturbed time. Real life hits me and him. We stare each other, and suddenly one of us fall asleep due to an exhausting work, physically and mentally drain.I don’t wake him up if I think he needs a decent amt of sleep.

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